Sorry, Not Sorry

The habit of women apologizing for almost everything, even for things we do not have to be sorry for, is deeply embedded in our culture. In fact, the idea that women apologize too much is still instilled in us today that someone bothered to create an app to help women to stop apologizing.

Perhaps this is a result of centuries of being treated like second-class citizens. Or maybe we have been raised in a society where womanly and feminine values are frowned upon. Maybe it is because society has been so used to women acting according to their standards or how they dictate women should act.

Things You Should Never Apologize For Again as a Woman

Whatever the reasons are, times have changed, and you need to stop now. Here are the 10 apologies you should never again make as a woman working from home.

  1. Your clothing choices

As a home-based business owner, you do not have to apologize for “distracting” other people with what you are wearing. You can work with your mini skirt. Neither should you worry when you are in the mood for the ever-comfortable sweatpants. It’s not your job to focus on the clothes you decide to wear.

  1. Putting or not putting on makeup

Did you ever wonder why almost all beauty products target women? It’s because men and society, in general, have been, for so long, pressuring women to look beautiful, if not their best. When someone learns how to put on makeup perfectly, she gets accused of “deceiving” other people. Wait, what? You are put down for not making an effort to look beautiful, but if you do, you are still judged for it? There’s just no pleasing society, so stop doing it for anyone else – do whatever you want to do with your face, and do it for you. As a home-based business owner, you can decide if you want to wear makeup or not.

  1. Expressing your emotions

You have certainly heard that line – that women are overly emotional, sometimes even borderline crazy. Is it not crazy as well and even illogical how men are so afraid of expressing theirs just to look cool and macho?

So if you want to show how you feel, let it out. If the situation warrants such reaction or emotions, don’t be sorry for expressing what or how you feel.

  1. Being successful or competitive

The idea that it is the man who should be at the top, the leader or the breadwinner is an outdated one; they come from a time when women only stayed at home because women were seen as inferior to men.

Today, we have proven that wrong countless times and showed the world we could do and achieve things that people from a thousand years ago thought impossible for women. Don’t be sorry for it; be proud of it!

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  1. Wanting some time alone

You’re a woman, so you must like socializing and going out with friends… right? Not really. Contrary to what you see in teen dramas and chick flicks, a significant portion of women are introverts. Even if you are not an introvert, there is nothing wrong with wanting to be alone. It is refreshing and is a good time to reflect, relax, and recharge.

Don’t feel guilty if you need time off from your family, partner or children. Business owners who work from home tend to feel cooped up, so take some time for a breather.

  1. Experimenting with sexuality

Other than the fact that your sexual activities are none of their business, you should not feel the need to justify why you did this or that. You don’t have to agree with them that “it’s just a phase” or that you are “lost and confused.”

  1. Your weight and eating habits

The number printed on the tag of your clothes does not determine whether you are a real woman or not. Also, you do not have to be “modest” when it comes to eating. You can eat that big combo meal without having to tell anyone that you have not eaten all day, and you should be able to drink that kale smoothie without being called superficial or overly conscious of your weight. You also have the right to adopt a healthier diet for the sake of a healthier lifestyle, not weight loss.

  1. Having a strong, independent personality

 Do not be sorry that they are intimidated by your being vocal about your opinions and beliefs, and do not be ashamed to remain like that. Not all women want to be damsels in distress, and what’s so good about being one anyway? You are your person, and such qualities are very much admirable. Men who feel intimidated by things qualities like these in women are probably insecure about themselves. Therefore, it’s not you; it’s them!

  1. Breastfeeding in public

When women show their breasts for the sake of fashion, it’s sexy, but when you see it because they are feeding their hungry child, it’s disgusting? It should not be your problem that other people think that the primary purpose of breasts is their sexual gratification. If they are dumb enough to think mammals have mammary glands to pleasure their partners, they should be the one keeping themselves to their homes to read books and educate themselves.

  1. Not wanting to get married or have kids (or both)

Motherhood is a choice, and you are not less of a woman if you decide not to be a mother. Neither does being single, even for a lifetime. Just because society thinks that’s how to live a life does not mean you should do the same. Remember, if you listen to them, it’s you who will have to raise the baby, not them. It’s you who will have to deal with a husband or wife, not them.

Live your life the way you want to, and as long as you are not stepping on anyone’s toes, it should not be your problem what anyone else thinks.

More than that, you should not apologize for not living according to their standards.

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C.E.O @ The New Savvy
Anna Haotanto is passionate about finance, education, women empowerment and children’s issues. Anna has been featured in CNBC, Forbes, The Straits Times, Business Insider, INC and The Peak Singapore. She was nominated and selected for FORTUNE Most Powerful Women conference in 2016 (Asia) and 2015 (San Francisco, Next Gen). Anna has 10 years of experience in the financial sector and is currently a Director in Tera Capital. Her previous work experience includes positions at Citigroup, United Overseas Bank, a regional role in Business Monitor and a boutique private equity firm based in Shanghai. She graduated from Singapore Management University (Finance and Quantitative Finance).