In a time when everything is posted on everyone’s social media accounts, there is little room for privacy. It goes way beyond the line when people start asking you about things that should be none of their business – your style, personal relationships, and many others.
Questions People Need to Stop Asking Women Immediately
If you are curious what questions are bothering women like this, here are the 7 questions that you need to stop asking women and why you need to stop now.
- Who are you wearing?
Why people ask this: This is the question we usually hear when reporters interview celebrities, especially female ones, at award ceremonies. An alternative for non-celebrities is “is that a legitimate (insert high-end brand here)?”
Perhaps it is because of always hearing it from our televisions that people started to think that one’s clothing brand is significant. In a deeper sense, maybe it is a result of our postmodern, capitalist, and consumerist society. Either way, it has somehow become normal to ask women this question.
Why people need to stop: Why does it matter how expensive or “high class” of a brand it is I am wearing? A woman should be able to wear whatever she wants to wear without being judged for it. In the case of celebrities, does it make them better performers or actresses if they wear extravagant brands more than others do? It is just demeaning and depreciating.
Why not ask celebrities about their work instead of what they are wearing? Also, so what if it’s just an imitation Prada? In the first place, it is not quite practical to spend half of your paycheck just to get one of those “top brands”.
- Who wore it better?
Why people ask this: Not only are women judged based on what brand they are wearing; we are also constantly compared to each other, especially when we happened to wear the same or similar clothes. There’s already this myth going around about how women hate other women secretly.
While theories behind this claim remain unproven, Alana Piper rightly points out that these “mean girls” images and “girl-on-girl” crimes are consistently used by today’s media as some form of entertainment.
Why people need to stop: We are living in a time when women are finally speaking up for themselves and standing up for each other. These kinds of questions are just encouraging the whole women vs. women thing.
Besides, our bodies are all unique and different, and we do not have to live by the standards of some gossipers or magazine writers who have nothing else to write about.
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- What size are you?
Why people ask this: We are so used to seeing the media body-shaming celebrities. We all have met that bully in school who makes fun of the chubby kid. Weirdly enough, body size has become a basis for judging other people in our society today.
Why people need to stop: These days, women tend to be very insecure when it comes to their body size. Here are some facts: the rate of women with eating disorders such as bulimia and anorexia in Asia continue to rise to this day. Many teenage girls are pressured to lose weight to achieve size zero, the size Hollywood paparazzi and many fashion lines glorify.
1 in every 5 women feels pressured to lose weight after giving birth. People asking questions like this do not help ease their insecurity at all. Women, or people in general, should not be judged based on the number of the tags of their clothes.
Why should it be anyone’s concern what a woman’s size is unless they are planning to get her a gift?
- When are you planning to have kids?
Why people ask this: Some people tend to be tactless when it comes to issues like this. It is also somehow embedded in modern thinking that having kids is a necessity for a complete and fulfilling life. That is probably why many people find it normal to ask something as personal as this.
Why people need to stop: First of all unless you are someone close to the woman you are asking, this is none of their business. Second, some women are having problems with fertility, and to ask them like this is like rubbing salt in their wounds.
Third, there are women who plan on not having kids at all. If that is the case, it is not your business to tell any woman that they should have children in the future; motherhood is a choice!
- “When are you getting married?”
Why people ask this: This includes everything about having a relationship like asking them if you can set them up with someone or when was the last time they went out on a date. Some do ask this out of concern, especially when it’s family asking.
Perhaps it’s because of the outdated and false thinking decades ago that women always need to be provided for.
Why people need to stop: While we appreciate the concern, issues on personal relationships like this should be no one else’s business unless you are asked. Moreover, a significant other is NOT a requirement for us to be happy and fulfilled.
And yes, some women do not have plans on having one, and that is perfectly fine. Not everyone needs to want and do it just because society thinks it is what is “normal” to want and do.
- Why don’t you go for something like Culinary or Fashion Design instead of Engineering?
Why people ask this: Some people are stuck in the thinking of the past centuries that women should stay in the kitchen and make their men sandwiches.
Why people need to stop: Other than the fact that this is sexist, the idea that women do not have the skills for STEM (science, technology, engineering, and mathematics) careers is completely false. In fact, studies on high school students in the US show that girls are generally outperforming boys not only in English but also in science and math.
So let’s leave this outdated idea that women cannot be in the science/math fields in the past where it belongs.
Well written. Positive of course not enough, but read in one breath